Remember How I Said "Save Blockbuster"?

I don't seriously think all of you suck, regardless of what Ryan says. Saving Blockbuster probably just couldn't be done.

Human-Fought

In fiction, especially in fantasy, we always see the battle between good and evil. In this world, in reality, we see instead battles between desires, with evil and good mixed on both sides. One side may have more evil, one side may have more good, but on this Earth, little is cut-and-dry evil versus good. How could it be? Few humans are purely either one, and are not all our wars human-fought?

Pipe Dreams

Loads of people have pipe dreams. Here of some of mine from over the years, ones that still sound cool to me but would preclude me for doing many of the other things I want to do, generally for reasons related to time and location.

• +Run away to Russia and become a ballerina - Some part of me has always wanted to do ballet, but the really good dancers do nothing but ballet, and I was never interested in it enough to give up my myriad other interests. It is still appealing to me, and I would like to take some ballet classes eventually, but running off to Russia and becoming a lifelong ballerina would be impossible if I want the rest of my life to happen. Why Russia? Obviously because they turn out some of the best ballerinas. And it's a pipe dream, so why not?
  
• +Go to Tokyo and be a video game designer for Square Enix - I love the Final Fantasy series. Each game is a work of art in itself. For a while, my goal was to become a game designer, or write/draw/program for games, and make artful games like the Final Fantasy stuff. At that time, I'm pretty sure my dream was to actually learn Japanese, head to Japan, and persuade the tough businessmen of Tokyo to let me work for them. Unfortunately, like the Russia thing, this would preclude just about any other ideas I had for my life.
  
• +Go to Japan and be a manga-ka - I like writing, I like drawing, I like all kinds of comics, including manga, and I like the idea of Japan. Obviously, moving there and becoming a manga-ka would be a great idea, despite the fact that they probably wouldn't like an American wannabe-Asian (I think "weaboo" is the accepted term) trying to weasel her way into the market in its home country. I could be a manga-ka in America, but I like the idea of living in Japan for a while, which is why it's included in this pipe dream. Again, this one has the international problem, though the hours I worked would likely be much more flexible and allow for other projects. I can still become a manga-ka in America, but that's much less a pipe dream than actually moving to Japan to do it.
  
• +Attend MIT and generally be a smart, MIT-attending person - When I applied for colleges towards the end of high school, I knew that an out-of-state school was probably out of the question, if only for monetary reasons. I also knew that I hadn't really done anything to make me stand out when I was in high school, and so I would probably be rejected from MIT. Now that I'm a junior in college, my only viable option for completing this pipe dream would be to make some money or get a scholarship and somehow get MIT to accept me for grad school. This is actually the least impossible of my pipe dreams, since it could still happen, is not totally insane, and likely would not preclude me from living a life of myriad interests, since I would probably only be there for a few years.
  
• +Join/start a band and become famous through it - This would be a lot more possible if I practiced my bass guitar more often. I could still join a band, and in fact I hope to eventually, but I don't think I have any designs on fame as a musician anymore. It would just be a fun thing to do for a while.
• +Work for Google - Do I even need to explain this one?

Of course, only God knows where life will go.

-

Save Blockbuster!

Knowing that I can just go to Blockbuster if I really want a movie makes me feel very safe. Therefore, the idea that they will be going out of business very soon is rather upsetting to me. I will still have the UCF library, as long as I am a student, but that's only for another year and a half. I doubt the other video rental places will last terribly long, and the public library, at least where I live, just doesn't have a great selection. Will I have to switch to something like NetFlix to get movies when I want them? I will then either have to wait for my movie to come in the mail, which is no good if I only suddenly and unexpectedly acquire the free time to watch a film, or I'll have to depend upon the powers of the Internet to give me a movie and continue to play that movie until its end. I'd rather take my chances with a scratched Blockbuster DVD.

Call me old-fashioned, but I'd like to see Blockbuster stick around for a while, so it doesn't go the way of Pluto's status as a planet.

Things I Learned From NaNoWriMo

I learned...

• +that I have the ability to write a novel-length piece of fiction.
• +how to manage my time better, stop procrastinating, and just DO it already!
• +that if I take a day off of writing, I have a much fresher, more active, more productive brain the following day.
• +how to write even when I don't feel like it, at all.
• +how to just truck through a story without stopping to edit every little thing the first time through.
• +a few things about character and plot development.
  
• +that I need a lot of practice with character and plot development.
• +that I'm not as bad as I feared at character and plot development.
• +that it's really, really hard to write well about places and things about which you know absolutely nothing, especially when you don't have the time to go research it.
• +that I'd definitely prefer to write sci-fi or fantasy or something fictional and exciting instead of chick lit.
• +how characters manage to do things without the author's permission...if you don't give them permission, they'll sit in a corner and pout until you write what they want you to write. It sounds crazy, but it's true.
• +more from this month-long experience than I would have in some classes, and I didn't have to pay more than my time and sanity for this.
• +that I can finish what I start, even if it isn't for payment or a grade.
• +that dialogue is really, really easy to write if you know your characters, which makes long, unnecessary conversations really good for increasing word count.
• +that I have it in me to write every day or almost every day, and could therefore become a professional writer after all.
  

I Finished NaNoWriMo 2009!!!

When I feel like writing again (hopefully tomorrow) I'll do a little blog about the things that I learned from this experience. Probably. ~_^

On Trying, Failing, and Remaining Content

So I find that if I have a class that's really hard (like calculus or something), and I put hours into the homework and studying and I do my absolute best on the test and I get a C, I actually find that more satisfying somehow than getting an A for a halfway effort. I feel proud of the work I put into it, and knowing that I did absolutely everything that I could possibly do. When you have done absolutely everything you could have done, and there was not a minute more your could have spent, not a moment where you could have given just a little more...I believe that brings the greatest satisfaction that can come from working.

If I fail this NaNoWriMo, I want to know that I at least stayed up late working on it some nights, that I at least tried...that I didn't fail out of laziness. If I fail my math modeling final, I want to know that I at least studied every hour possible, saw Dr. KV or Arup for office hours to clear up that which I did not understand, tried my best...and cannot look back and say, "Well, maybe if I'd only done more or tried harder I wouldn't be facing this grade."

I want to know that I have nothing to regret.

Unfortunately, it isn't easy to live that way, especially if you enjoy sleep, but it does make it easier to live with yourself after the work is complete.